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I am not who I was

One afternoon, there was someone calling repeatedly at our entrance gate. When I hurried to the call, I saw a tired, exhausted, breathless girl. She introduced herself as a business management student and enquired whether I was interested in buying her house cleaning products. She pleasantly placed the basic sales pitch and never coerced me to buy the product. She left after I declined her request the third time. I could sense that the little girl had a great amount of self-respect without neglecting her responsibility to the assigned job. She left with a disappointed smile. She carried a huge bag and walked swiftly against the weight of the bag that pulled her backwards. It all happened within about 5 minutes. I always suspect such businesses or donation requests to be scams when young kids pose as college or school students. But I had a varied response to this instance this time. A sense of guilt engulfed me, the minute she left. I felt that I failed to handle the situation in a more...
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I'm Nobody, Friend

I've never used this blog for its intended purpose. You can't find a well researched article or perfect reviews. It's been a place to share my superficial opinions on anything that stirs my heart. Lately, I've been using it as a journal to share personal anecdotes. My college junior talked to me today. She’s such a nice, loving girl. She wanted to talk because she's going through the same tiring process as I am and wanted to share her fears. She praised and thanked me for being kind to her in the past and now. I felt doomed after the conversation. I've always liked acting as an elder or leader in any group I'm part of. I like taking responsibility and helping my peers. But I felt I'd failed this girl, my sister, and everyone around me. My success could have boosted them, but I've failed, especially as an elder daughter who should have carried my family’s responsibilities. Currently, I'm highly dependent on my parents emotionally and financially. ...
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Women Classified!

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In Coimbatore, an eighth-grade child was asked to write an exam outside the classroom, seated on the floor near the entrance, citing menstruation. This created a huge ruckus among the public, who demanded an explanation for the school’s inappropriate act. This was coupled with fears of possible caste discrimination as well. This incident reminded me of my teenage years when I had to fight all the menstrual taboos in my family. At the time of puberty, besides the fear of bodily changes, I faced the mental anguish of following various taboos tied to it. My mother seemed completely different in her approach. She asked me to take a week off from school, which was a big shock to a girl who was always hesitant to miss class. I vehemently opposed whatever came my way. For the first time, I felt my independence was completely stripped away. I incidentally sensed from my friends’ experiences that there might be plans for a ceremony or function. My friends had all enjoyed those instances and sha...
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Not So Incredible India

 William Shakespeare wrote, 'What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.'  This quote critiques the superficiality that a name carries and rather values the inherent quality of one’s existence. This does not hold true when your name sends you to detention camps, deems you a foreigner in a nation where you were born, bred and cared for all your life. Assam, given its strategic position with neighboring Bangladesh, has always been in turmoil regarding the status of citizenship. The NRC process has amplified this turbulence, revealing the grim face of humanity and the hollow reality of Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam that this nation often preaches. I have admired various bureaucrats for their timely service and integrity that has transformed many lives. But the bureaucratic system as a whole lacks empathy and is embroiled in ineffectiveness, delays, inaccuracies, corruption, and more. The irony is that this system demands people provide long-drawn r...
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Saints of Strangers!

  "Nostalgia curls around what little we were given and turns it holy, Isn’t that how we bless the smallest things, and make saints of strangers?" - twitter/ @Marsadist I have always been fascinated by people around me, their emotions, interactions, and thereon. I tend to associate myself with their needs and decisions and ponder the social structure that determines these quotients. This has made my aspiration to become a civil servant stronger. This society has shaped my thoughts, ideas, and almost everything that I am today. On the platform X (previously Twitter), a number of discourses about various events happen. I came across a person randomly and got acquainted with them very quickly. There were some intriguing factors that made me resonate with that person. We have interacted sporadically from thereon, and it has always been so endearing and pleasant, and it uplifts my morale. I was reminded of this person when I came across this wonderful take on nostalgia. The term ...
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Art and AI

I wanted to try how AI conceives poetry and wrote this verse and asked it to elaborate.  'Do you know me? Do I know you? No. Then why are we cute? ' I liked its (Grok) response, Do you know me?  Do I know you?  No. Strangers in passing, yet here we glow. Then why are we cute? In this brief moment, a shared glance,  No history, no circumstance,  Yet something in our eyes ignites, a spark, a charm, a fleeting light Is it the novelty of the unknown  Or the comfort in feeling less alone?  Perhaps it's just the human art, To find beauty in the heart Cute, not for acquaintance deep, But for the promise, the leap,  Of what might be, or what could grow,  From this moment, this hello. I was amazed at how AI reads human interaction this beautifully. It was a very novice and rudimentary attempt to explore the theory of mind and AI. I am not in any way misrepresenting the calibre of human mind with AI technology. I will try to update this post, if anythi...
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#RandomScribbles

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God! Nero! Genghis Khan!

  I was raised as a staunch believer of God by my parents. They believed in God as a moral guide and support that guided them during difficult times in life. I enjoyed praying and holding faith in it to accomplish things in life and persevere through tough waters. As I grew up, I felt guilty about being selfish in using my faith and wanted to make amends. This made me ponder about the world's sufferings and unjust society. This did not lead me to a rational path, but rather, I convinced myself that there must be certain reasons for the world's pain, and they are solely inflicted because of humans' greed for power and money and God will alleviate the hopeless out of it. I believed that this might take time, but it'll not be an insurmountable task for the omnipresent. But I had realised the difference in my faith that I had in my childhood to that of my teen period. But I didn't want to reason this change, rather wanted to still hold on to my faith for selfish reason...
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அடுத்த போர்!

 கண்ணீரும் குருதியும் கடலென பாய்ந்தாலும் நாதியற்று நிற்கும் நன்னிலம் இனப்படுகொலையை நேர்கொண்ட இனமே  இனப்படுகொலையில் ஈடுபடுகிறது முரணும் மனிதனும் காதலர்கள் அல்லவா  கையறு நிலையில் கள்ள மௌனம் காக்கும் வல்லரசுகள் பின்வாசலில் முகாமிட்டிற்கின்றன மானுடம் கேள்விக்குள்ளாக்கப்படும் வேளையில் அடுத்த வெறுப்பு கோஷம் அதோ! கிரிக்கெட் மைதானத்திலிருந்து. Context: When a group of hate mongers booed the Pakistan cricket team at Allahabad stadium at the time of Palestinian struggle in Gaza against Israel. 
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ஜெய் பீம்

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 தமிழ்நாட்டின் பார்வை அனைத்து தளங்களிலும் சமூக நீதியை முன்னிலைப்படுத்தியே அமைந்திருக்கும். எனினும் இன்றைய சூழ்நிலையில் பெரும்பாலான இளைஞர்கள் மத்தியில் இட ஒதுக்கீடு, சுயமரியாதை, அதிகார வரம்பு போன்றவற்றைக் குறித்துத் தெளிவற்ற புரிதல் நிலவுகிறது. இந்த நிலையில் 1993 ஆம் காலக்கட்டத்தில் நடந்த ஒரு நிகழ்வை மையப்படுத்தி எடுக்கப்பட்டிருக்கும் ஜெய் பீம் படம் , ஓர் ஆக்கப்பூர்வமான படைப்பு.  இருளர் சமுதாய மக்களின் வாழ்வியலையும், வலிகளையும், உழைப்பை மட்டும் சுரண்டிக்கொண்டு அவர்களை ஒதுக்கும் ஆதிக்கசாதிகளையும் தோலுரித்து காட்டிருக்கிறார்கள். சாதி, மதம், பணம் போன்றவற்றில் சிக்குண்டு கிடக்கும் அரசு இயந்திரம், காவல்துறையினரால் கட்டவிழ்த்து விடப்படும் வன்முறை, அதிகார அத்துமீறல்கள், இதனால் வதைக்கப்படும் விளிம்பு நிலை மக்களின் துயரங்கள் எனப் படம் நெடுகிலும் பல கள உண்மைகளை உணர்த்துகிறார்கள். அவை மனதை ஒரே நேரத்தில் கனக்கவும் கோபத்தில் கனன்றவும் வைக்கிறது. இந்த பழுதடைந்த சமூகத்தில்,   அதிகாரங்களை எதிர்க்கும் ஒரு வீர மங்கை செங்கேணி,  ஒரு நேர்மையான காவல்துறை அதிகாரி,  ஒரு மனிதநேயமிக்...
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வளர்ச்சி தண்டனையாகலாமா ?

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 ஆத்தங்கரை ஓரம் , ஒரு சிறந்த படைப்பு. சிந்தூர் என்ற பழங்குடியினர் கிராமம் வளர்ச்சி என்ற மாயயைக்குள் சிக்கி அழிவதை மனமுறுகி இயற்றியுள்ளார்.  எந்திர உலகிலிருந்து அந்நியப்பட்டு வாழ்ந்து வந்த சூழல் எவ்வளவு ரம்மியமாகவும், நகரமயமாக்கத்தின் ஒரு சின்ன முகம் எவ்வாறு ரணத்தை உருவாக்குகிறது என்பதும் உணர்த்தப்படுகிறது. அணை, ஒரே நேரத்தில் வளர்ச்சி மற்றும் அழிவின் சின்னமாக காட்சியளிக்கும் முரண் நமது அறிவியல் மற்றும் இயற்கை அறிவின் முதிர்ச்சியின்மையைக் காட்டுகிறது. அரசியல் ஆதாயம் தேடும் கதாபாத்திரங்கள் மத்தியில் தனிப்பட்ட வாழ்க்கையை உதறிவிட்டு சமூகத்திற்காக உழைக்கும் இளைஞர்கள் நம்பிக்கை ஊட்டுகிறார்கள். அரசு கட்டமைப்பிற்குள் இருந்து கொண்டு அரசையே எதிர்க்கும் துணிச்சலும் நேர்மையும் நிறைந்த அதிகாரி சுதிர் இப்பொறுப்பிற்கு வந்து சேவை செய்ய விரும்பும் பலருக்கும் முன்னுதாரனம். சர்தார் சரோவர் அணை போராட்டத்தை நினைவூட்டுகிறது இவ்விலக்கியம். நேர்மையான போராட்டத்ததையும் இயற்கையை உயிருக்கு மேலாக போற்றும் பழங்குடியினரின் வாழ்க்கையைச் சித்தரிக்கும் ஆவண இலக்கியமாகத் திகழ்கிறது இப்புதினம்.  "விஞ்ஞானம் என்...
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Universe - Happy Haven?

 Of mice and men, a beautiful adaptation of the novel of the same name.  This movie beautifully captures the reality of the American Dream and how unrealistic it can be in this greedy world. The plight of migrant workers and tenant farmers is a cause of concern even now. The depiction of them in this movie is still relevant. The huge divide between rich and poor makes it difficult to create a level playing field. Unless the rich and the state decide to bridge this gap, the dream will remain just as a dream. It is not the failed plan portrayed in the film that affected me. But it was the way the world treated an intellectually disabled person. It is disturbing and questions humanity.  Though Lennie received love and care from his friend, he had to die at the hands of his own friend. His friend had to carry this scar in order to relieve Lennie from the cruel men and failed systems.  The society failed to notice the strengths of these two young men rather condemned and ...
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Let the dreams get unleashed...

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DEAD POETS SOCIETY  "Carpe deim. Seize the day boys. Make your lives extraordinary". 'Carpe deim' remained just as a latin phrase to me until I watched this film. Keatings, an unconventional teacher is every child's dream. The way Robin Williams presents himself as a teacher is a delight to watch.  The methodologies handled by Keatings will be influential for budding teachers. His students grasp the essence of Carpe deim and exercise it fearlessly. This film is itself a poem with many beautiful lines.                                       What does dream mean to a person?        It means life to few. It is through which many wishes to spend one’s prime life. Can such passions be imposed on oneself? Neil succumbed to such imposition. He got himself trapped between performing duties as a son and following his dreams against his parents. He struggled to...
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An Admirer's Note

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Favourites are unique to every person. They tend to change with one's growth and  experience. But I've constantly replied same answer to this question.  Favorite actor? - SURIYA Might sound as hero worship. But what's wrong if the person emulates such great character in real life too. Cinema is the biggest form of entertainment and a great influencing platform in India. Having said that, one naturally expects the stars to be socially responsible in what they portray and promote through their art.  Suriya goes way forward in setting such example. His choice of scripts, filmography is a testimony to this. It is the humanitarian Suriya which inspires me more than the star Suriya. He strikes the right chord at the right time. He speaks up for causes which requires a strong voice. His actions always  resonate with people's sentiments.  The Agaram foundation not just provides free education, it grooms the complete personality of every students. When my friends questio...
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A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

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If you want to visualize an optimistic, loving, caring person, one who wishes only good for others, it is Fred Rogers, I would say.  A person who finds happiness in forgiveness. A pure heart which prays and loves everybody who comes in his life whatever be the person's contribution to him either good or bad. It seems surreal and unrealistic. But the word exists because of such unrealistic people. Fred Rogers was one such man. His story was encapsulated into a wonderful movie starring Tom Hanks. He preaches what it is to be humane and practices that.  Forgiveness is a strong attribute says  Thiruvalluvar .  He quotes, "பொறுத்தல் இறப்பினை என்றும் அதனை மறத்தல் அதனினும் நன்று"( Forgiving trespasses is good always; Forgetting them hath even higher praise.) This film gives yet another beautiful perspective i.e ' To forgive someone is to release them of the anger we have on them' It stresses the fact that hard emotions can be dealt with a simple step i.e to forgive and l...
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Broken Brotherhood- The Kite Runner- Khaled Hosseini

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I witnessed this book for the first time in my 11th grade. A friend of mine was reading. It was actually the book cover that engulfed my attention. The serene poster of a boy flying a kite. From then, I always wanted to read this book. Another instance of me encountering this book was when Anudeep Durishetty(AIR-1, CSE-2017) shared his experience on reading this book. I expected this book to be a pleasant read. But there is always a hidden commotion in tranquility. The book laid a subtle yet a strong tone on every sufferings of a war ridden region. Only an Afghan born writer could have expressed these emotions such profoundly. If one could find a man possessing all goodness of the world - It was just Hassan. I expected the world to shower him the same goodness. But it didn't. I wanted the friendship to flourish, Afghan to nurture, a happy pleasant ending. But reality doesn't appear like bed of roses, so does this book. I encountered tragedy at every chapter and weeped along. It...
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Servants or Dictators ?

A naive child wishes to become a police officer. He considers catching a thief and maintaining law and order is an act of goodness. But the child grows into a powerful police personnel who abuses power to enjoy a happy life. The power bestowed upon the officer has vanished the act of goodness he had envisioned as a child. It made him ponder only on his goodness.  Successful constitution not just allocates power but limits it too. Power is a strong tool which can protect or destruct lives depending on the possessor. When the world is at halt in the hands of a virus, it witnessed two events showcasing misappropriation of power. The trauma that inflicted on the society was huge. George Floyd of USA and Jayaraj , Bennix of India are victims of police brutality and a failed system. These deaths have exposed the conscienceless power mongers,  at a time when kindness is most required. Any system or law can be successful until it sustains the faith of the people. Such abuse of power w...
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