God! Nero! Genghis Khan!

 

I was raised as a staunch believer of God by my parents. They believed in God as a moral guide and support that guided them during difficult times in life. I enjoyed praying and holding faith in it to accomplish things in life and persevere through tough waters. As I grew up, I felt guilty about being selfish in using my faith and wanted to make amends. This made me ponder about the world's sufferings and unjust society. This did not lead me to a rational path, but rather, I convinced myself that there must be certain reasons for the world's pain, and they are solely inflicted because of humans' greed for power and money and God will alleviate the hopeless out of it. I believed that this might take time, but it'll not be an insurmountable task for the omnipresent. But I had realised the difference in my faith that I had in my childhood to that of my teen period. But I didn't want to reason this change, rather wanted to still hold on to my faith for selfish reasons, ignoring many questions that were lingering in my mind, doubting the very nature of God and its power. I found most of the injustices happening in the world were affiliated with religion. This did not sit well with me. I was amazed at the hypocrisy of the religious fundamentalists who want to wage war to establish peace guided by their religion. I started gradually understanding that religion was just a tool to maintain the status quo of feudal or power structure or to establish new hegemony. I wrote this in my note ,'Witnessing the fall of Kabul, you recall Martin Ewans saying in 2001/02 that the uncompromising Taliban would live long and ‘take’ the country back. Today that has happened. All policy prescriptions to ‘build’ a stable Afghan nation failed this Sunday'.     - Nirupama Menon IFS
16.08.2021. I witnessed a horrible blot in history. Afghanistan has gone into the hands of the Taliban. There are many countries suffering at the hands of fundamentalist, misogynistic rulers which are more aided by the US and Russia for their personal benefit. But I could not take it, when a neighbouring nation is put in distress, especially the state of women in the coming days was traumatizing to think about. Every nation, especially the US, has let down the Afghans. I am losing my faith in God. These atrocities happen in the name of religion and this is transcending me into the path of atheism. To know Pakistan and China assisting the Talibans with the promise of them not interfering in their affairs is hurtful. This may seem too cliche or dramatic. There were many instances of taking this stand before this period. But I think it was just a point of culmination. I cannot call myself a true atheist. I still try to search for God at my lowest points and selfishness clouds my rationale. I am practicing to strengthen my courage to only believe in reason and truth at all times. I happened to read, Com. Bagath Singh's ' Why I am an Atheist ' today. I am astonished by his clarity and valour at this very young age of 23. The essay addresses two questions  Is Bhagat Singh's decision to turn an atheist an action of vanity?

2. What is the guiding force to take this decision?

To address the first question, he enumerates that people who reject God because of vanity come in two categories

1. They call themselves God.

2. They deem themselves to hold godly qualities.

Both are stemming from belief in the existence of God or such a presence, and so they cannot be called non-believers. He says that he didn't become an atheist for all of the above reasons. He says that he was an atheist when he was even an unknown figure. He argues how revolutionary socialist circles were devoid of atheists or rather too frightful to outwardly express atheism as their ideology. He didn't want to face this ridicule of not having a firm, clear stance while carrying the responsibility of the party.  He says that this made him study more and more to face the heat of the opposition. He wanted to provide counter arguments that were convincing. This path led him to question his own long-held convictions and made him turn towards the path of atheism. Thus, it was not out of vain, but rationale gained through rigorous studies.

To address the second question, he examines the real power of God and how it is futile and makes no sense in the world of poverty, crimes, subjugation of humanity. He quotes war, crimes, colonialism of the world to putsforth that if there's God, there should be no place for evil. He asks whether God is a Nero or Genghis Khan to inflict pain and then remedy the wound. It is not likely to the said stature of God. He clearly establishes that God and religion are the tools of the oppressor to fool the masses; to keep them under their control and make them fight a futile war among themselves. He says that he will never deteriorate from this stance and considers deterioration to be an act of cowardice and shame.

This essay was so inspiring and makes me awe of his courage that echoed within the confinement of four walls without worrying about the fear of the future. He wanted to approach the gallows with the same courage and asked the British officials to try them as war prisoners. It showed me what it takes to believe in oneself and one's ideology and not take a selfish stance in following it. I am yet to achieve my dreams and have been going through tough patch in my life. Despite that, I wish to uphold and stay true to my rationale and try to traverse this path with courage and truth.